Birthday Meal and Message
by Secret Otaku19
Summary: Smoker's Birthday! Nami was forced to have a meal with Smoker by Tashigi. The Straw Hats also, wanted to greet him in a STRAW HAT WAY. Please read and be nice? Not entirely romantic, but full of humors and idiotic scenes. Nevertheless, it's FUN.


**Date Check = March 14, 2014... **

**A reader requested me a SmoNa story because it's HIS birthday! So, why not? If it's about making my reader glad, I can write one. :) **

**Warning: Smoker might be a little OCC here. **

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**I dedicated this One Shot to Kyo-Chans. **

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**Happy Reading!**

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Nami walked with Chopper in the busy streets.

"Nami, what're we buying here?" Chopper asked her.

"Clothes! For me!" Nami grinned. "You know I can't wear something all over again."

True, she was never seen wearing clothes repeatedly ever since Arlong's Park has fallen.

"But it's wasting money." Chopper frowned. "We should buy something like books and tools for the ship."

"Of course we'll buy those later." Nami reassured the young reindeer.

Chopper's face began to shine. "Really?!"

"If we have left overs." Nami added, making Chopper gaped. "Chopper, let's buy something for the boys."

"Huh? Why?" Chopper blinked.

"It's nice buying them something once in while right?" Nami smiled.

"Nami..." Chopper looked at the navigator. Maybe during their separation for two years, she misses her friends and became soft after all.

"Let's enter the clothes shop!" Nami pointed at the clothes store and drag the reindeer too.

Chopper sweat dropped. "Why're you so obsessed with clothes?!"

Nami ignored the doctor and entered the clothes shop. There are many clothes for men, hanging. She went to the the farthest section where there are dark greens color; for Zoro. She looked through the clothes, and found the perfect one. She was about to grab it but a hand grabbed the hanger at the same time. "What? I found it first!" Nami argued at the woman. Her eyes widen when she saw the woman in glasses. "Uh oh."

"Ah! You're one of the Straw Hats!" Tashigi exclaimed. "What're you doing here?!"

"I should ask you the same thing!" Nami yelled. "I'm not destroying anything here, so leave me alone!"

"You're a pirate!" Tashigi argued.

"Not right now; I'm currently a normal citizen who is buying some clothes!" Nami argued back. If this officer don't buy it, they'll have to make a break for it.

"A guy's clothes?" Tashigi narrowed her eyes. "Who is it for?"

Nami flinched. She have to make up with something! Any! Something nice! "Y-Your boss? I want to give him something for making our captain famous?" That should do the trick. If Tashigi knew that she is giving something for Smoker, maybe she'll reconsider arresting her on the spot.

"Just so you know, he's not making anyone famous!" Tashigi pouted. "You want to give my captain some clothes?"

Nami nervously laughed. She took a step back while Tashigi kept on walking towards her.

"How did you know?" Tashigi asked her with suspicion. "You're not stalking our captain, are you?"

"N-No! Why would I stalk a marine officer?!" Nami's forehead was soaked in sweats. She needed to do something fast. Oh right, Chopper! She looked around and saw Chopper outside, watching a puppet play with an excited play. Looks like, the doctor is pretty busy. 'You traitor!' Nami cried (comically)

"Then how did you know it's Smoker-san's birthday today?" Tashigi asked.

Nami cringed. Seriously? Is it a lucky guess or a curse? "I'm an acquaintance of him!" She blame Usopp for lying all the time that the lying sense get into her.

"You liar." Tashigi looked at her with half lidded eyes.

"I am not!" Nami crossed her arms.

"Then, celebrate his birthday with him." Tashigi grinned evilly. "If it turns out that he arrests you instead, too bad. But if he didn't, good for you."

Nami gulped nervously.

"I will now call a subordinate to get Smoker-san into a nearby restaurant, eat with him." Tashigi said while putting out a den den mushi. She turn around and talk to someone.

Nami smacked her head annoyingly. Why on earth did she end her fate just like that?!

In a moment, Tashigi grabbed her wrist and pushed her into a salon. "I don't want my captain eating with such a low-class girl. It's his birthday, at least make it special." She ordered, making Nami angry.

"I am not a low-class girl!" Nami argued. A salon worker grabbed her and pulled her into a chair. She checked Nami's hair. "Who's paying here?"

"Of course I am." Tashigi rolled her eyes. "Make it good." She looked at the worker. "You got 1 hour."

The worker smiled and get on to work. Nami stopped protesting. Doing her hair, painting her nails, putting make up, using new dress without even paying, it's like a paradise for Nami. All she need to worry about is Smoker. Please don't let her be arrested.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Chopper was shocked when he saw a marine officer dragging Nami into somewhere. He heard Zoro said something about this marine officer, she's good at handling swords. They met at Punk Hazzard and she's pretty nice but they are still marines and pirates! He ran towards the ship. He needed to tell the others that Nami has just been abducted!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Nami looked at herself in the mirror. Wow, she looks stunning! Tashigi looked around her.

Nami wore a long red tight fit dress, without arms. It has a split in her legs. The dress has strap around her neck, the cleavage area was exposed. She also wore a black high heels shoes. Her hair was tied into a bun, some hair fall in each side of her face, framing her face gracefully. Her make up is light yet attractive. Her nails were painted red. Her sister's bracelet is in her wrist. Gold earrings dangling in her ears. "Seriously? Why am I all red?" Nami cringed. It's not that she don't like it, but going outside in broad day light, wearing red is something to be embarrassed about! What is she, a vampire?!

"Red is for birthdays." Tashigi answered. "Just be confident in your appearance, you'll be fine." She handed Nami a black umbrella.

Nami whined and accepted the umbrella. She opened it and walk outside. Tashigi walked beside her. "You still have to pray for your fate." Tashigi murmured. Nami groaned in return.

The two walk in the streets. Men were all drooling at Nami. Women were staring and throwing daggers, yet Nami held her head high, walking around with confidence like Tashigi told her too. Her stomach automatically flip when they stopped in front of the restaurant.

"If you try to escape, we'll be haunting you." Tashigi warned. "Not only we have to kill you, I'll have to empty your pockets. Remember, I paid for that outfit of yours."

Nami nodded and looked at the high class restaurant in front of her. Damn marines! Tashigi pushed her inside. Nami gulped nervously as he walk in the halls. There are separate rooms! She stopped in front of the counter.

"What name, Ma'am?" The counter lady smiled.

"Is a man name Smoker here?" Nami asked.

"Room 5, Ma'am. I will lead you right to it." The counter lady walk in front of her. Nami clasped her hands together, her heart was beating fast. What if she got arrested in one swoop?! Oh, Luffy and the others.. I may not see you guys again. Her heart stopped when the counter lady opened the door, leading to Smoker's room.

"Smoker-sama, a woman is here to accompany you." The lady bowed.

"Ha? I supposedly eat here alone." Smoker growled. The lady step aside, revealing a nervous Nami. "You're-!"

"Hi?" Nami cried (comically)

The lady left, leaving the two alone in the room, awkwardly. Such a VIP room. Nami looked at the table, not wanting to look at the captain.

"Why're you here?" Smoker asked angrily, making Nami flinched.

"I-uh... wanted you to wish a Happy Birthday?" Nami laughed nervously.

Smoker eyed Nami with suspicion. "I would arrest you by now.." Nami cried in her head. "But that would make your captain berserk in no time."

"Huh?" Nami looked at him with surprised eyes.

Smoker started eating while talking about some things. "Don't get me wrong, but I went to the New World to capture Straw Hat."

"But I am one." Nami blurted out. She don't want to get arrested but she have some pride about being a Mugiwara.

"I wanted to capture your crew using my own strength not, you coming right in here." Smoker responds. "Now stop blabbering and just eat."

Nami nodded slightly. "So it means I'm safe?" She ask while holding the spoon and fork.

"For now." Smoker grunted.

The two eat in silence, and someone couldn't stand it.

"Ne, think of a topic." Nami boldly started, making Smoker choke.

"Why should I?" Smoker barked. "Just eat your damn foods and just go home, you little brat!"

"Brat?" Nami's eyes twitched in annoyance. "I will do that, old man."

"I'm not an old man, you stupid little kid!" Smoker argued. Why does he have to deal with a mugiwara brat anyway?!

"I am not a little kid!" Nami whined. "Let's have drinking contest! If you win, I'll do anything! If I win, you'll have to give 500,000 Beri!"

"500,000 Beri?!" Smoker growled. "Fine, I WILL WIN."

"Just so you know, I'm one of the heavy drinkers in my ship." Nami boasted.

"Heh~ I bet you haven't even try competing a grown up man like me." Smoker grinned evilly.

"Try me." Nami said sarcastically.

The ladies entered with lot of bottles of sake; per Smoker's request. The pirate and marine glared at each other with a lady in the middle.

"Ready! Start!" The lady smiled and looked at the two in-human being.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Chopper! Is that true?!" Luffy shouted. "Nami was capture by marines?!"

"I saw Nami being dragged by Tashigi-woman!" Chopper cried. "I don't know what I should do!"

The Straw Hat's mood dropped at the thought of Nami being dragged in Impel Down.

"I will not let Nami be executed like Ace." Luffy gripped her fist angrily. "Let's go retrieve Nami!"

The crew cheered and prepared themselves to search for Nami.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The lady in the room blinked. The room is full of bottles, the ladies who hold some more bottles came rushing in. Nami nor Smoker were backing down. They were already in 50 bottles! It they were a normal person, they just collapse before they even reach 10 bottles! Nami is getting dizzy, but the love for money kept on pushing her. She looked at the man in front of her. He's drinking like it's water!

The contest went on and they reach 100 bottles. Nami couldn't take it. She collapsed on the floor while dizziness took over.

"The winner is Smoker-san!" The lady exclaimed. The ladies who were running back and forth collapsed on the floor tiredly.

"Oi, the consequence?" Smoker smirked.

"What do you want?" Nami weakly groaned.

"Eat with me again, sometime." Smoker said, making Nami's eyes open wide.

Before Nami could argue, someone crashed in the roof, making Nami jumped in surprise. Smoker already sensed who is it and sighed.

"Nami!" Luffy yelled. He saw Nami fainted and catch her.

"Don't worry, she's just unconscious." Smoker said.

"You didn't do anything to hurt right?" Sanji glared.

"Why should I?" Smoker closed his eyes and leaned on the wall.

Zoro stopped and look around. He saw some sake bottles laying on the floor. "You did pretty good, in beating Nami."

"She's just a brat to me." Smoker said.

Marines were all over the room. "Smoker-san!" Tashigi came in, while holding her sword. "Are you alright?"

"Never been better." Smoker grinned.

"This is bad, we're in a tight space." Sanji said.

"Let's make a break for it." Luffy grinned and jumped while Nami is still in his arms. Zoro and Sanji followed them.

"Smo-yan!" One of the G-5 yelled. "They're getting away!"

"Let them be." Smoker stand up. "I want to capture them with our own strength, it's boring if they come to us on their own."

Tashigi kept her sword in her sheath. "Stand by.." Tashigi ordered the G-5.

"Smoker-san, that'll be 500,000 Beri." The lady smiled.

"What?!" Smoker exclaimed.

"For the foods, the broken roof, and the sake are all 500,000 Beri."

Smoker growled and search for his money. Damn it, then was the bet with that Straw Hat girl all useless?!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Happy Birthday, Smoker-old man." Nami murmured in her sleep, making Luffy looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Did you enjoy your birthday meal, Smoker-san?" Tashigi walked with him in the streets.

"All I did was baby sit a brat." Smoker grinned.

"But you look quite happy." Tashigi said.

"It's nice, letting some frustration. In fact, talking to that girl ease me up a bit." Smoker laughed and climb up their ship.

Tashigi looked at his back and smiled. At least, this year Smoker seems to be enjoying himself.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"So that's the whole story." Luffy explained while laughing.

"Thank goodness I completely misunderstand." Chopper sighed in relief.

Nami was busy throwing up in the toilet. The crew waited in the lawn deck with a plan, made up by Luffy.

Usopp get a large paper from the library, which he knew Nami would kill him later if she founds out. Chopper get some color markers.

They started their little plan.

Nami walked outside after washing up a bit. "What're you guys doing?" She walked near them.

"We can't have you greeting Smo-guy alone now, could we?" Luffy grinned.

"What?" Nami looked at the paper and smiled. "That's cute but WHO'S PAPER DO YOU THINK YOU'RE USING?!" She screamed while chasing at the laughing captain and the scared sniper.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Smoker was sleeping in his seat in the deck of the G-5 ship. He sensed something coming and dodged an arrow. In the arrow, there was a paper tied in it.

"Is it a letter of challenge?" Tashigi walked up to him.

"If it is, they're stupid." Smoker opened the paper and cringe.

Tashigi looked at the paper and giggled. "That crew is simply amazing."

"NOT!" Smoker growled and scan the paper once again. It contains a lot of message from the crew, one by one.

It titled as HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SMO-GUY and a decoration of meats! which is obviously Luffy who wrote it.

**"May you die in a graceful way" -Robin**

**"Try to be a pervert! It helps you to be a man!" -Franky**

**"Please don't kill us." -Chopper**

**"I've got nothing to say." -Zoro**

**"Look at Tashigi-chan's panty, it'll boost your energy. Yohoho!" -Brook**

**"You shitty marine! Take care of Tashigi-chan there, or else I'll kick you!" -Sanji**

**"May you have the best luck of not capturing us, by the Great Usopp." -Usopp**

**"I wanted to give you meats, so I just draw some for you, Smo-guy!" -Luffy**

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**"I'll take that offer earlier, old man." -Nami plus a kiss mark on the paper. **

Smoker ignored the other message and focus on the last one. Maybe it's not that bad to eat with a brat. He looked at the other side of the beach and saw the Straw Hats's ship flew over to the horizon. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SMO-GUY!" The entire crew shouted while using the Coup' De Burst.

Smoker's face reddened at embarrassment. "SHUT UP, YOU BUNCH OF BRATS!"

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**And I'm sorry for not giving you a FULL SmoNa moment! **

**I tried my best NOT to make Smoker out of OCC, but I don't know what it turns out. **

**So I just gave Nami a little scene with him and some Straw Hats moment. **

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**Review! Review! Review! **


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